Confronting a Bar Girl 101

Having lived here in Thailand for some time, I have learned a few of the rules when it comes to dealing with the bar girls on their level. All too often I end up making friends with other foriegners who are just passing through as musicians working in some of the same clubs I do. As always, the girls are all over them like fresh meat. It’s human nature to want to offer them some advice, but I have learned to be very discreet.

My first learning experience happened when a friend of mine arrived from the States. We were sitting at an outside table having few beers and catching up. Soon enough, one of the regular girls struck up a conversation with him and he seemed interested. I’m very familiar with this girl, and she has a new foreigner boyfriend in town every week. Most of them send her money every month, and she is quite the trickster. Her only redeeming quality is that she is truly drop dead gorgeous. I kept quiet for quite some time, but had enough when she started telling him the sob story about her sister being in the hospital after a motorbike accident. She told my friend that she needed to come up with more money to pay for her treatment. Her “sister” was actually inside the bar and looked pretty good for being on her death bed.

I couldn’t take it anymore, and spoke up. I confronted her right there at the table about her lies and trickery. BIG MISTAKE! Keep in mind, that both the girl and I work in the same bar. You could see the fire in her eyes for a few seconds. She knew she was busted and was very angry. Within a few more seconds, she got me back and turned on the waterworks! She started pouring tears and sobbing uncontrollably. I knew I was in trouble when my buddy leaned in to comfort her. Yes, she beat me. Suddenly, she was the “poor little bar girl” being picked on by the “big bad white guy”. My manager asked me to leave for the night, and I had to do quite a bit of fast talking to keep my job the next day. I still see her all the time, but we keep our distance from each other.

The trick to getting a friend away from a bad bar girl without causing a scene is to be discreet. Never (and I mean NEVER) confront a bar girl on her own turf. It’s like her home and she has lots of backup. An angry Thai girl is not a pretty sight, but a crying bar girl means alot of angry Thai girls and their “customers”. The best thing you can do is take your friend aside and whisper a warning in private. Better yet, just move on to the next bar. Thailand has a never ending supply of bars and bar girls. You should never waste your time on one who is trying take you for more money than she’s worth. Many guys are wimps when it comes to these girls and let them walk all over them. You should always be polite, but remember that you are the customer and shouldn’t have to put up with their bad behavior.

Peace out and stay safe.


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